You're probably wondering at least three things: if you need to tell a potential partner that you have genital or even oral herpes, and when and how to do so. Plus, you're probably at least a little curious about safer sex precautions. Here’s everything you need to know about dating with herpes simplex virus (or HSV).
Should you tell a partner you have herpes?
Definitely. Disclose your HSV status to anyone you’re getting involved with. “I encourage everyone to share their diagnosis with their partners so that everyone can make the healthiest decisions for themselves,” Melody A. Baldwin, MD, assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Duke University Medical Center in Durham, North Carolina, tells Health.
When should you disclose your HSV status?
You don’t have to bring up herpes the very first time you talk to someone new, Warren says, but you should at some point before you have sex. “You are more likely to have a positive reception to that news if you have built some sort of relationship. If you tell too early and there’s no reason for this person to be invested in you, then you may get a negative response very quickly,” she says.
How do you tell someone you have herpes?
The hardest part may be deciding how to broach the subject. The specific words and phrases you use will obviously be highly individual depending on what kind of relationship you’re building. In general, though, don’t make a big deal of it. You never know—your partner may divulge he or she also has herpes. And if they have the same type of the virus as you, they can’t get “reinfected,” Dr. Baldwin says. (The herpes virus stays in a person’s body even after symptoms have subsided.)
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